


dust and snow (oh, don't let it go)

by Pawprinter



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Christmas, Christmas Presents, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 08:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28348215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pawprinter/pseuds/Pawprinter
Summary: When Luke loses one of his favourite items from the 90s, the band is determined to make it right.
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 38
Kudos: 344





	dust and snow (oh, don't let it go)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Labyrinthinee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Labyrinthinee/gifts).



> Merry Christmas, Bea (serendipitee)! I'm your JATP Daily Secret Santa and I had a blast writing this gift for you. I hope you had a great day. I'm so sorry this is late, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless.
> 
> Warning for coarse language, discussion of (canonical) character death, and some grief/mourning/angst.
> 
> Enjoy!

Luke wasn’t one to get attached to sentimental things.

Ever since he could remember, he was one for  _ people.  _ It was the people around him — the people he loved and the memories they created — that mattered. The only  _ things _ he ever truly cared about were almost always kept on his body; his lucky blue rabbit's foot, his rings, his guitar, and his guitar strap.

Even then, those items weren’t just  _ things.  _ He loved his rabbit’s foot because it used to be his parent’s. He loved his guitar because it meant music, and music was his  _ life  _ (and death). He loved his guitar strap because it was what held his guitar — and, thus, music — close to his heart ever faithfully; and it reminded him of better times and family.

_ His family,  _ that is,  _ before it all went to shit. _

It had been a gift from his parents the same year they bought him his first six-string. _The beginning of the end,_ as he liked to think about it. Back before he was living in the garage in ‘95, back before he left his mom sobbing beside the Christmas tree, back before death seemed like a far-away thought.

Really, the guitar strap should’ve made him feel bitter, shouldn’t it? It was the last  _ true  _ gift from his parents — the last gift they gave him with  _ him  _ and his interests in mind — because the years that followed included things that were given with the hopes of pulling him away from music. It was a reminder of all the broken things he left behind, all the words left unspoken, but—

There had always been more to it though. 

Whenever Luke looked at it, it reminded him that he could do this — no matter what ‘this’ was. Even if he felt like he was drowning — sinking — getting nowhere, all it took was one look at it to remember.

He was doing what he loved and he was doing it with people that he loved.

The guys.

Julie.

_ His family.  _

They loved him and supported him through the darkest of days. Even in death, that hadn’t changed.

What  _ had  _ changed was the fact he no longer had the guitar strap.

He shouldn’t care. Right? He shouldn’t care this much about a small little item? He shouldn’t care?

But he did.

He cared so much that it hurt.

“Are you sure you didn’t see it behind the couch?” Luke pressed, raising his voice to be heard from the loft. He was busy digging through bags in search of it, hoping that  _ somehow  _ he left it upstairs. “It’s green and—”

“I know which one!” It was Alex that responded. Luke bit the inside of his cheek and chucked a few clothing items out of the garbage bag he was riffling through, feeling too frustrated to speak. When Alex’s voice came again, it was softer. “I didn’t see it, but I’ll check again.”

Reggie poofed into the loft next to Luke, standing precariously on top of the upheaved clothing pile. He wavered a bit before catching himself on the railing. He gave Luke a funny look.

“Are you sure you had it when we, you know… came back from the whole hot dog thing?”

Luke glared. “Yes, I’m sure. I had it until  _ yesterday’s show.  _ When we left for the venue, I could’ve  _ swore  _ I had it, but when we were about to go on stage— nothing. I had to use one of yours and the show  _ sucked.” _

“Okay, first of all, rude. My straps are  _ fantastic,  _ thank you very much,” Reggie defended.  _ “And  _ the show wasn’t that bad. Sure, there were a few timing issues, but Julie saved our butts.”

“Like usual,” Alex added. Reggie nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, well, thank god we had her, otherwise that performance should’ve been taken out with last night’s trash.” Luke chucked a bag of old clothing over the railing. It hit the ground below with a faint thud. He blew out a long sigh. 

“I didn’t know ghosts could lose things,” Reggie commented. “Aren’t we like… permanently attached to our instruments?”

“Willie said that he’s had to replace his board a few times,” Alex said. “When he snapped it during a trick the other day, he said he’d have to find another, but he didn’t say  _ how.” _

That made Luke feel even worse. “So, he didn’t  _ lose _ his board. His board broke and became unusable.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Does that mean my guitar strap is—”

He didn’t even want to think about it. 

He didn’t want to think about Alex’s implication that the only way a ghost could ‘lose’ something was if it broke. He didn’t want to think about his guitar strap mangled and missing and—

“Have you tried summoning it?” Reggie suggested. “Maybe it’ll come?”

“I tried last night. I just thought I was nervous, but then I tried again this morning and nothing.” He dove back into a garbage bag. “I thought I left it in the garage so I didn’t care last night, but—”

Julie walked in and narrowly dodged another garbage bag raining from the loft. She let out a yelp and sidestepped.

“What’s going on in here? We already got the Christmas decorations down last month, guys, you don’t need to be tearing up the place. We— hold on. Alex? You okay, buddy?”

Luke assumed the sight must’ve been a good one. Alex was hanging upside down over the back of the couch, his legs up in the air. Reggie was still balanced on a pile of old clothing, looking like he was seconds away from taking flight. He was elbow deep in a garbage bag and covered in a thin layer of dust. The garage was a mess with clothing and papers scattered on the floor.

If he was in a better mood, maybe he would’ve found her expression amusing.

_ But, he wasn’t. _

Not even Julie’s smile could bring him out from this dread.

“Have you seen my guitar strap?” He poofed down to meet her at the entrance of the garage. It felt like his whole body was vibrating at a different frequency, and there was a heaviness to his gut, and—  _ please, he needed a good answer.  _ “It’s green and black and—”

“I know which one,” she assured him. Her amused expression from earlier had completely melted away from the pure panic written in his expression. “No, I haven’t. Not since earlier this week anyway. Why?”

“Luke lost it.”

“I didn’t  _ lose  _ it. I just don’t know where it is.”

“That’s the definition of lose, Luke.”

He gave Alex a harsh look. “Can we not debate English right now? I’m in a crisis.”

The room fell silent.

His gaze darted between the three occupants, trying to read their expressions. “None of you have seen it today? What about yesterday?” He received three head shakes in reply. “Alright. I’m panicking.  _ Very  _ much panicked right now.”

“It’s fine,” Julie promised him, her hand coming to rest reassuringly on his elbow. “We’ll find it, right, guys?”

“Definitely.”

“Yeah, don’t worry, man. It’s not like it grew legs and ran away.”

Luke really wasn’t in the mood for Reggie’s jokes.

It looked as though Alex wasn’t either. He stood from the couch, gave him a withering look, and then turned to the duo by the door. “I’m going to go see Willie. Maybe he knows about lost items.”

“Yeah… yeah, thanks, man.”

Luke couldn’t shake the horrible feeling growing in his chest and expanding to his fingers. No matter how hard he tried to tell himself that he’d find it and, even if he didn’t, it wouldn’t matter, he couldn’t shake the cloud of dread.

Julie must’ve sensed it. Her grip tightened on his arm and she smiled up at him. “It’ll be fine, Luke,” she promised him. “Let’s check the house next, okay?”

He nodded and clung to the small spark of hope she brought.

It was going to be fine.

_ It was going to be fine. _

* * *

Except, it wasn’t fine.

It absolutely  _ was not fine.  _

When Alex returned from Willie with tension in his shoulders and a grimace on his face, Luke knew. 

A heaviness settled in his chest, his gut twisted in a way that reminded him of hot dogs, and  _ Luke knew. _

“I’m sorry,” Alex said, his voice gentle. It was hard for him to reply when his throat was shut so tight. He must’ve looked really rough because Alex’s expression wavered. “I mean… maybe Willie’s wrong?”

“No,” he managed to get out. Despite wishing Willie was wrong about this, there was no way. “It’s gone. It’s destroyed. It’s the only thing that makes sense. I just don’t understand what happened to it, you know? It was here a few days ago and now— it’s just not.”

“Wait, hold on,” Julie said, her hands lifted to pause the conversation. “What did Willie say?”

Alex cast a long look at Luke.

Luke turned away, unable to stomach the pity in his eyes.

Finally, Alex caved and filled Julie in. “He said that if Luke’s not able to summon something, it, uh… no longer exists. His exact words were ‘his guitar strap crossed over before he did’ and ‘it is in a better place now.’ I don’t know if that makes you feel any better.” Luke sank to the couch, his leg feeling too weak underneath him. Alex grimaced. “I’m sorry, man.”

Luke felt sick. It was ridiculous, wasn’t it, to be this upset about a guitar strap? It was just a  _ thing  _ — it was easily replaceable, but—

“Yeah,” Reggie said, sinking to the couch beside him. He rested a comforting hand on his shoulder. “We know how much it means to you.”

_ Yeah. _

_ There was that. _

This conversation was a scary echo to one he had months ago — or, really, it was  _ years ago.  _ The night he had run away from home, Reggie said those  _ exact  _ same words when Luke realized he’d left his guitar strap back in his bedroom. It wasn’t the most significant thing he lost that day, but it hit him solidly in the gut — knocking the breath from his lungs and making his body double over.

Except, back then, they could  _ do  _ something about it. 

_ (And they did exactly that.) _

(Alex was the one to march up to his parent’s front door the next day and demand to collect some of his things. Luke had known Alex could freeze someone’s soul with the intensity in his eyes, but he never knew just how  _ terrifying _ he could become when he wanted to.)

Luke shook off the chill to his muscles.

“It’s fine,” he said. He didn’t convince anyone — not even himself. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I mean, technically it’s over twenty-five years old, so… It’s fine. I got a lot of use out of it.” He tried his best to ignore the way his chest tightened. “And it’s just an  _ object,  _ you know? It’s easily replaceable.” 

“Yeah,” Julie agreed, her voice soft, as if she was trying to sooth a screaming toddler. He was so thankful for her and her positivity in this moment; it was exactly what he needed to cling to. “Yeah, I’ll go out and get you a new one tomorrow. I saw a really nice blue one on sale at—”

“Actually…” Luke didn’t know it was possible, but Alex looked even  _ more  _ pained than a moment before. He shifted uneasily. His gaze darted around the room, looking at anything other than him. Luke’s heart stopped, knowing something horrible was coming. “Willie said that might be a problem.”

“What do you mean?” Luke asked, his mouth dry and words wavering. “What’s that supposed to mean? I thought he gets new boards when his breaks?”

“He does, but… he gets Caleb’s help.”  _ That  _ silenced the room. Tension mounted. Alex continued despite it. “It’s like any of Julie’s stuff — it’s not connected to our souls, so it’s almost impossible to pick up at times. It would be the same with anything new we get in 2020; it’s not part of our souls, so we’ll have a  _ really  _ hard time using it. The only way Willie’s able to use new boards is because of Caleb’s magic.”

“And something’s telling me that Caleb won’t do some bibbidi bobbidi boo for you,” Reggie pointed out. He winced. “Sorry, not the time.”

“Luke,” Julie breathed, and the pain in her voice broke Luke’s heart. They locked eyes and he pretended the pity wasn’t for him. “I’m  _ so  _ sorry.”

There was something about someone trying to offer comfort that really seemed to push him over the edge. He could be fine one moment —  _ and he was fine  _ (really, he was totally fine) — but as soon as someone tried to comfort him,  _ he was done for. _

Luke clenched his jaw and willed himself to  _ keep it together  _ — just for a little bit longer.

“It’s fine,” he lied. “That’s just how it has to be. Not being able to get new things is just one of the downsides of being dead, I guess.” He forced a smile and  _ hoped  _ it looked more convincing than it felt. “At least the teleporting makes up for it.”

He had to glance up at the ceiling to keep the tears from spilling over and  _ oh god he was so close to crying.  _

Just  _ realizing  _ how close to crying he was made him want to cry even  _ more. _

His friends knew him well, and they  _ knew  _ just how upset he was. He could tell by their expressions, all sorrowful and pitying, and he hated it. He didn’t want them to feel bad for him, not when it wasn’t over anything that actually  _ mattered  _ because it was just  _ stuff  _ and—

He couldn’t bring himself to look at his three friends because he knew —  _ he knew  _ — that would crack any last pieces of resolve he had. 

“I’m going to look some more,” Luke said, his voice thick and raw. He stood abruptly and, before anyone could try to comfort him any more, he poofed to the loft. 

It was there, among half-emptied trash bags and dusty boxes, that he stopped running. The tears were hot on his face, and his heart heavy in his chest, and his mind spiralling around one single thought.

_ It shouldn’t matter, it shouldn’t matter, it shouldn’t matter— _

But it did. 

It mattered so much that it  _ hurt. _

* * *

“I get it.”

Luke jolted and spun to face the mouth of the loft. Julie’s head poked up through the floor, her chin coming to rest on the floorboards, and something eased in his chest — just the slightest bit.

“Julie,” he said. It was shocking to hear his voice, all raw and scratchy from hours of crying. He cleared his throat and tried to brush his hair flat, hoping that he could hide just how much of a mess he truly was before she noticed. “Hi. Hey.”

“Hey. Can I come up?”

Luke smiled — one of the first genuine smiles he had given all night. “Yeah, of course. It’s your house, isn’t it?”

“Boundaries,” she reminded him teasingly. “I give you your space, you give me mine. It works.”

“Yeah. It works.”

They were both silent as she climbed up the rest of the way to the loft. She was wearing one of her mom’s giant sweatshirts and her giant bear claw slippers — the sight of her brought a warmth and lightness to his chest.

When Julie sat next to him, with their backs against the far wall and garbage bags at their feet, Luke couldn’t help but focus on how little space there was between them. The one thing he wanted to do most in that moment was _close_ the space and _touch her_ because he knew it would calm the storm inside, but—

“I get it,” she said again. “I get why you’re upset about your guitar strap, and I’m  _ so  _ sorry.”

Reality came rushing back quickly.

His mouth grew dry. His heart sank.

“You don’t have to be sorry. You’re not the one who lost it. It was me. It’s on  _ me.” _

“I’m sorry that you’re going through this though,” she corrected. While it was only out of the corner of his eye that he saw her smile, it was like the sun and demanded to be felt. His gaze was drawn to hers. They locked eyes. “You don’t deserve to hurt, Luke. It hurts watching you hurt because all I want for you is good things.” Her hand brushed against his knee. “I wish I could do something to help.”

He laughed bitterly and looked away. “I’m being ridiculous,” he muttered. “It’s just— it’s a _thing._ It doesn’t even matter. It _shouldn't_ matter.”

Her touch was warm on his forearm. Julie was  _ always  _ warm — like the sunshine on a summer day, or the sand on the beach against the soles of his feet, or the flicker of a bonfire in front of his palms. It was something he craved when his soul felt so cold, like it did now.

“But it does matter,” she insisted, her voice soft. “It matters, and that’s  _ okay.  _ You lost something important to you and it’s okay to be upset about that.”

A heaviness had stretched across his chest and filled his limbs. He felt the urge to cry again — this time for an entirely different reason than before.

It wasn’t from the sorrow of  _ losing  _ something — no. 

It was because of  _ Julie.  _

It was because she cared, and she was  _ here,  _ and she seemed to see into parts of his soul that he never expected to share with anyone. It overwhelmed him with so much emotion, and he didn’t know what to  _ do  _ with it all.

_ He appreciated her so much. _

“Alex and Reggie told me that your parents got it for you,” she continued gently. His eyes screwed shut. His chest panged with hurt. “I get why it was so important to you. It’s always been more than just a  _ thing  _ to you, Luke.”

“It  _ shouldn’t  _ be though because—”

“It is.” When she pulled her hand away, his gaze snapped to hers. Her expression was blurred through the tears, but he didn’t even need to  _ see  _ her face to understand her in that moment. He could feel her sadness in his bones — he could hear it in her words. “I… When my mom died, it was hard.  _ Really hard.  _ I missed her so much — I still do — and I wished  _ so hard  _ that she could just be with me again. But… that isn’t possible.” 

Julie blew out a long breath and continued speaking. “She couldn’t be with me, but her things could, and I hung onto items from my mom. We kept important things, like her favourite pair of sweats and the mug Carlos made her for Mother’s Day, but we kept the pointless things too.” She laughed — wet and loud and heartfelt. “We even kept her  _ makeup  _ around because I wanted to remember what shade of foundation she wore and what brand of eyeliner she liked.

“I cling to her things because it makes me feel closer to her. It reminds me of the time we spent together.  _ Just like you with your guitar strap.  _ Just because they’re only things doesn’t mean it’s silly to cherish them, and it’s not ridiculous to mourn for them when they are gone. They remind us of better times, and that’s okay.” 

They locked eyes. 

His breath caught at the intensity in hers. 

And, again, she repeated herself.  _ “It’s okay, Luke.” _

He didn’t know what the exact words were that shattered his resolve, but he was leaning into Julie’s shoulder  _ sobbing  _ by the time she finished speaking.

_ She always knew what he needed to hear.  _ She always knew how to ease his worries and sooth his soul, even if he didn’t know himself. 

Really, this was true for all four of them. Luke understood Julie like this too — he knew when to pull her to his side when she was nervous, he knew what to say to boost her confidence before an important show, he knew exactly what to say to make her laugh.

They understood each other. It was as simple as that.

Julie responded to Luke instantly and easily. She wrapped her arm around his shoulder and brought him to her side and he  _ cried. _

Because, really, she said it all.

It wasn’t about the guitar strap — not really — it was about the memories behind it.

_ It was about his parents and his life  _ — both of which he lost long ago.

Losing the guitar strap was just a reminder of all of that. 

Julie held him as he cried. He had never been more thankful for the simplicity of human touch than in that moment.  _ Just knowing that she was there —  _ that she was beside him — that she supported him — it made him feel like he could breathe a little easier. It didn’t erase the heaviness of his body, or the grief consuming his soul, or the sorrow turning his blood to ice, but  _ it helped. _

It helped.

* * *

A week later, Luke was still in a miserable mood.

It wasn’t just from the missing guitar strap though, it was because Christmas was a rough time of year.

It never used to be like this, back when he and the guys were just kids. Reggie’s parents hadn’t begun buying him enough gifts to suffocate him, as if the number of gifts under the tree could prove just how happy they were — Alex hadn’t been forced to attend dinners with insufferable and horrible family members — Luke hadn’t run away yet.

_ This year was going to be different.  _ It was a promise Julie made to them back when Christmas lights first started going up and their moods started dipping. While Christmas Day was going to be spent inside the Molina household with their favourite lifer family, they were promised a full Christmas Eve celebration — just the four of them in the garage.

Despite the chaos and disappointment of the last week, it was something Luke was looking forward to.

It seemed like Alex and Reggie were  _ also  _ looking forward to it because, when Julie arrived in the garage — with her eyes barely open and a blanket around her shoulders — she shot Reggie a dirty look.

“So not cool,” she complained, trudging in. “I don’t know  _ how  _ you managed to set my alarm so early, but I’m  _ so  _ not here for it.”

“Except, you  _ are  _ here for it.” Reggie beamed. “Get it? Because you’re here? It’s a pun.”

“Wow, thanks, Reggie. I really needed that one spelled out for me,” Alex commented dryly. 

“I mean, you  _ did  _ misspell ‘of’ on a spelling test in second grade.”

“Hey,” Alex sputtered, “that’s a  _ hard  _ word! There  _ definitely  _ should be a ‘v’ somewhere in there.”

“C’mon, man, I—”

“I hear-by declare this Christmas Eve argument free,” Luke said, flopping to the couch between them. Even though he knew it was all good-natured ribbing between them, he wanted the day to be as far away from arguing as possible. “Today’s all about sunshine and butterflies, okay?”

“I like butterflies.”

“I know, Reggie.”

“Sunshine is cool too.”

“I mean — not my point, but yeah.” Luke’s gaze was drawn to Julie, who still stood near the mouth of the garage, drowning under her blanket. “Who doesn’t like sunshine?”

His heart skipped a beat because—

_ Julie. _

A warmth rose in his chest — a warmth that always seemed to chase away the chill when she was around. That was the thing about Julie —  _ she  _ was the human embodiment of sunshine. 

Or, maybe, she was simply Luke’s sunshine.

_ It didn’t really matter which was the truth. _

“Dude,” Reggied whispered, looking between Luke and Julie amusedly. “Wow. Talk about oozing chemistry, huh?”

“Shut it, Reginald.”

He looked offended. “Hey, what was that about not starting anything? Eat your words, Patterson.” Before Luke could even think of a retort, Reggie was talking to Julie. “And I was  _ excited.  _ It’s  _ Christmas!  _ I’m kinda unstoppable if I put my mind to something.” He cringed. “You might want to change your passcode to your phone though. Carlos told it to me so I could get to your alarms…”

Julie stared at him, looking completely deadpan.

“You know what, there are so many problems with that statement — I’m not even going to try.” An easy grin lifted her lips. “Besides, we have more important things to discuss. You ready?”

Luke blinked.

_ Huh? _

“Ready for what?”

He must’ve missed something because—

Simultaneously, both Alex and Reggie answered in confirmation, which only made Luke  _ more  _ confused.

Now he was  _ sure  _ he was missing something because —  _ how were both Reggie and Alex on the same page,  _ but he wasn’t?

“Hold on, I’m confused. Let’s take a few steps back and—  _ oh.” _

Luke was stunned into silence as soon as Julie’s blanket dropped from around her shoulders, revealing what she’d been concealing underneath the whole time. In her arms was a brand new guitar strap — nearly a replica of the one he lost earlier that week.

He was at Julie’s side in an instant, his hands hovering a few inches above the fabric, unable to form words.

It was beautiful.

It was more than just the guitar strap being pretty though. It was as if all those memories from earlier had come rushing back to him — unlike before, they weren’t tinged with sadness and regret, but fondness.

This was  _ his  _ guitar strap. A gift from his parents. A partner in crime for many years — if ‘crime’ included thousands of hours of practice, countless rehearsals, and dozens of shows. It was something that reminded him of his family, and his boys, and—

It wasn’t his though.

Luke’s excitement stopped dead in its tracks.

_ His was gone,  _ he reminded himself.  _ He lost his. _

And Alex’s words from earlier that week echoed through his mind. He wouldn’t be able to use a new guitar strap without loads of concentration or without Caleb’s assistance because it wasn’t tethered to his soul.

Luke’s hands hovered inches above the fabric. His heart pressing against his ribs, and his throat too tight to speak, and his adrenaline making his thoughts swirl because—

_ It was beautiful.  _ Even if he’d struggle to hold it and perform with it, he desperately wanted to — especially when he caught sight of just how  _ excited  _ and  _ gleeful  _ Julie looked, with her bright eyes and wide smile.

He vowed to himself that he would make this work because  _ how could he not  _ when Julie looked so happy to help?

“Surprise! Merry Christmas!” she cheered. “I know it isn’t the same one you lost, but… I think it looks pretty similar? It’s different enough though, right?”

“Yeah, man, we don’t want to replace your original one,” Alex said, coming to stand beside him. “We know how much that one means to you. That’s not something that can just be replaced.”

Luke turned to him, his eyes wide and the breath knocked from his chest.

_ Alex was in on it too? _

“It was Julie’s idea,” Reggie added, slinging an arm over his shoulders and leaning into his side. “She’s so smart, isn’t she?”

“Aw, thanks, Reggie.”

“I mean…  _ listen to her!  _ She taught me about  _ memes,  _ guys.  _ Memes.” _

Julie smiled fondly. Luke couldn’t bring himself to do that much, he was in so much shock. His gaze hadn’t moved from the guitar strap in Julie’s grasp either. His eyes traced the material over and over — the green and black threads, and the white shoulder padding, and the white accents alongside the clips.

He couldn’t stop thinking about how  _ beautiful  _ it was.

_ How beautiful and unreachable. _

Clearly, the other three hadn’t thought about it, because they looked so  _ happy  _ and were staring at him so expectantly.

_ Oh god.  _ He was going to have to tell them. He couldn't just  _ lie  _ like he did when his grandparents gave him a gift he couldn’t use or didn’t want — the band was with him  _ all of the time;  _ they’d notice if he wasn’t using it.

_ Oh god. _

_ He was going to have to crush their hearts. _

Luke suddenly felt  _ sick  _ because he didn’t want to break the news to his friends! He didn’t want to—

“Here.” Julie lifted the guitar strap closer to him, his smile growing even wider.  _ Shit,  _ he could see her giddiness in the little bounce to her step and in the way she bit her lip. Even the guys were excited — Reggie was practically vibrating beside him. “Try it on! Let’s see how it looks!”

“We already know he’s going to look good,” Reggie complained. “C’mon, he looks good in everything.”

Alex elbowed him playfully. “At least he likes to think so.”

Julie lifted the guitar strap again, and he couldn’t take it anymore.

He swallowed thickly and dragged his gaze up to hers.

“But…  _ I can’t.  _ I—” He gestured wildly towards the fabric as words failed him. “It looks amazing and I really appreciate all of the effort and thought you put in, but— I’m not going to be able to use it.”

Luke prepared himself for many things.

He prepared himself for Julie’s expression to fall as she pieced everything together — and he prepared for the crushing sense of remorse and sadness to settle across his chest, squeezing his body and soul.

He prepared himself for Reggie to grow still and Alex to grow silent as they remembered the curses that came with being dead — and he prepared for the heaviness that would seep into him with their dejection.

He prepared himself for awkward conversation and forced laughs.

_ What he didn’t prepare for was this— _

Julie’s smile widened. Reggie let out a loud laugh and bumped into his side, jostling Luke right into Alex. Alex joined in on the messy half-hug and excited chatter, all three of them buzzing with energy.

Luke was confused.

“I’m serious. I can’t  _ touch  _ it because I’m not really  _ alive  _ and—”

“We know,” Julie assured him. “Objects that aren’t tied to your soul are hard to pick up in general and next to impossible without concentration.  _ But…  _ we found a solution.”

“Julie found a solution,” Reggie cut in. “She’s so smart. Have I mentioned how smart she is?”

“And  _ devious,”  _ Alex added, sounding proud. “Look at her and her little loopholes.”

“She’s grown so much!”

“What do kids say these days? And that’s on character growth?”

Julie choked on a laugh. “I’m impressed you know that, Alex, but  _ please.  _ I was like this before any of you came along.” 

Luke was even more confused. If they knew the problem, why did they still look so sure and so happy? And what did Alex mean by  _ loopholes? _

“I’m lost. Someone go from the beginning one more time.”

Julie’s expression softened. Their eyes locked.

“You aren’t able to easily interact with objects not tied to your soul, right? Well… the easiest way around that is to tie it to your soul.”

A pause.

Then—

_ “What?” _

“Just— here. Look.”

Julie turned the guitar strap around, showing off the back of the white shoulder pad. And  _ there,  _ on the back and out of sight, was the most breathtaking thing Luke had ever seen.

_ Drawings. _

Luke always knew Julie was an artist, and a good one too. She drew on her microphone, she doodled in the margins of their shared lyric book, her sketches lined her bedroom floor.

_ But this. _

This.

Luke was drawn to Julie's side, as if they were two magnets. His fingers hovered inches over the padding, shaking and unsure.

_ He took it in. _

Julie had drawn across the back of the shoulder pad, filling in every available inch of space with her solid linework and loopy printing. His gaze jumped from image to image, trying to take everything in at once, but—

_ Holy shit. _

“I know it kinda ruins the fabric,” Julie started, sounding unsure, “but it was the only thing I could come up with…” 

Luke hadn’t made a sound yet because  _ holy shit,  _ there truly were no words for what he was feeling in that moment. Shocked had swallowed his words, yes, but there was something else too.

There were very few moments in his life where someone did something like this —  _ where someone had given him something so special and so personal. _

It made the breath catch in his throat. The world blurred with unshed tears. His throat  _ burned  _ from holding everything back.

Julie reached out for him, her hand brushing against his forearm. “Hey, are you okay?”

_ “Oh my god,”  _ Luke gushed. He let out a breathless laugh and returned Julie’s grip. “I just—  _ oh my god?  _ You know? Wow.  _ Wow.” _

Her expression shifted entirely. The worry melted away to sheer excitement — even more prominent than it had been before.

“You like it!?”

“Do I like it? Jules, I— This— You—”

Reggie snorted. “I think you broke Luke.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever heard him so quiet before.”

Luke let out a loud laugh. “This is beautiful, Julie.  _ Beautiful.” _

A beautiful gift made by a beautiful girl. 

_ It was fitting. _

Julie’s fingers brushed against his as she pointed out a few of the drawings on the back. “Okay, so, this one right here? Those are stars to represent the time you fell down that hill when you were too busy looking at the night sky, and then Alex had to bandage your knee because you got all banged up. And…  _ here.  _ You see this one? It’s the sun for  _ Bright  _ because, you know, we shine bright together. The one on that corner — yeah, that one — it was drawn by—”

“Me! That one’s by me!” Reggie said, crowding over Luke’s shoulder excitedly.

“Reggie and Alex helped,” she explained. 

“This is mine. It’s a chocolate bar.” Alex grinned. “One of my favourite memories of you on Halloween that one year in high school. You scared away  _ everyone  _ because they kept trying to give me chocolate with peanuts, so you  _ pelted  _ them with those Bounty chocolate bars.”

“Worth the sacrifice,” Luke promised him. “I hate coconut anyway.”

Reggie was back on Luke’s shoulder, squeezing in to point out his drawing. “This one is  _ supposed  _ to be a teddy bear because that’s how we became friends,” Reggie continued. “It was during show and tell at school when we brought in the  _ same  _ bear and, like, we should’ve fought because that’s totally a faux pas. We totally should’ve  _ hated  _ each other, but we came up with a story that they were brothers on the  _ spot _ and we’ve been best friends since.”

_ Luke remembered.  _

He remembered every single detail of that day of show and tell — just as he remembered the details of all the moments described to him by his friends. 

These drawings — the memories — they included important moments in his life,  _ of course,  _ but they also were of mundane things and average days. It felt  _ right  _ this way, because his life (and afterlife) wasn’t just built from life-changing moments and monumental discoveries. His life was built from Saturdays spent looking at the stars, and school days spent in the principal’s office after he hit one too many kids with chocolate, and afternoons on the playground with two teddy bears between him and friends on the seesaw.

His life was built from countless little moments — so many of which were now represented on the back of this new guitar strap.

_ And Luke finally understood. _

It was like Julie said — if he wanted to use the new guitar strap without any problems, it had to be tied to his soul. With his friends —  _ his family —  _ pouring their hearts and souls into the artwork on the back—

Luke finally closed the distance between the tips of his fingers and the fabric of the guitar strap. His heart stopped right as he brushed against it — a part of him was still  _ so sure  _ his hand would go right through the object — but  _ it didn’t.  _ The fabric was smooth to the touch, so unlike the well-loved and worn out fabric of his previous guitar strap, and  _ so solid.  _

Reggie let out a cheer and flung himself at Alex, and Julie was beaming, and Luke’s whole body was  _ soaring  _ with pure bliss. He could hardly  _ speak  _ through his excitement.

“Julie!” he exclaimed breathlessly, “this is so  _ amazing!  _ I could kiss you right now!”

The world came to a crashing halt as his words caught up to him.

He froze.

With his heart in his throat and his stomach at his feet, Luke tried to clean up his mess quickly. “Wait, no, wait, I—”

_ He was silenced with a kiss. _

Julie’s lips were on his only briefly. Their noses bumped together. Luke’s hands remained frozen on the guitar strap between them and his feet remained rooted to the floor. He didn’t even have time to  _ shut his eyes,  _ but still  _ it was breathtaking. _

When Julie pulled back, Luke couldn’t remember a time where her smile was so wide. 

It was a glorious sight.

“Uh…  _ wow.”  _ Luke cleared his throat and blinked owlishly. Once again, words failed him, because— “Did that really just happen? This isn’t a dream, right?”

“Oh,” she teased, “you’ve been dreaming of me?”

“If I could still dream, I promise you, you’d be in every single one.” 

They let out breathless laughs. Luke’s gaze dipped back down to her lips and every fibre of his being  _ yearned  _ to close the gap to  _ kiss her.  _

He wanted to kiss her again — properly this time.

_ Their moment was broken thanks to Reggie.  _

“Hey!” he complained. “What about me? I helped! Where’s my kiss?”

Luke turned to him, beaming. “Oh, you want a kiss too? Come here, man!” 

Luke swooped towards Reggie and pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek. In return, Reggie stuck his tongue out and swiped the slobber away. “Disgusting!”

“You  _ asked  _ for it.”

“Yeah and now I regret it.”

Alex pulled a face and inched away from the group. “Don’t even think about it, Patterson. I am not interested in a kiss if you leave behind that much  _ drool, _ got it?”

“What about me?” Reggie teased. “Want a lil smooch from me? C’mon, Alexander, let’s pretend there’s some mistletoe above us and I’ll plant one right on your cheek. I don’t drool!”

“We all know that’s a lie, dude. You drool more than any of us. You know, one time at camp, I woke up with half of my hair soaked because you had the bunk above me.”

“Well, maybe you needed to shower. I was  _ helping  _ you.”

“Alright, that’s it.” Alex playfully tackled Reggie, launching both of them to the couch. “Let’s go, Peters! Tickle match — right here, right now.”

Luke was pulled from the moment when Julie caught his hand and squeezed. Just like their first kiss  _ (holy shit, their first kiss), _ the moment was brief and fleeting. When she pulled away, Luke was left standing in the middle of the garage — a silly grin on his face and his brand new guitar strap in his hands.

Julie’s smile faded just the slightest bit. “I’m still  _ so  _ sorry about your original guitar strap, and I really hope you don’t think I’m trying to replace it or minimize the impact of it’s loss, but—”

“It’s perfect,” he said, and it was the truth. 

What Julie said was true too — the new guitar strap could never replace the old one. It had too many memories tied to it to ever be replaced, but this new one — it was filled with so many memories already. All Luke had to do was take one look at the back of the shoulder pad to be reminded of that.

_ This guitar strap was tied to family just as much as his lost one was.  _ And it was filled with love, and stunning sketches, and  _ soul.  _ It was filled with tiny pieces of Julie, Alex, and Reggie’s souls, all so he could have a sliver of his past back.

“Merry Christmas, Luke,” she said.

They both met in the middle for a softer kiss, one that made Luke’s legs turn to jelly and his heart skip several beats. When they parted, he was breathless and giddy. Her shy smile in return made him fall  _ that much more _ for her.

“Merry Christmas, Jules.”

With his family at his side, Luke had no doubts it was going to be just that.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: the lyrics of Bright by the Julie and the Phantoms cast were briefly mentioned, which I do not take credit for.
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated! Happy holidays!
> 
> Paw  
> Find me on [Tumblr!](https://pawprinterfanfic.tumblr.com/)  
> 


End file.
